Possibilities

The pandemic is taking its toll on me. It’s been about a year of masked isolation and monotony, and I’m feeling bored and antsy at the same time, if that’s even possible. I’m retired. I get to babysit some of my adorable grandchildren. I have free time to write. So, what am I complaining about? Still, I’m not myself.

So, what do you do when you can’t take it anymore, whatever it is? You lie on the couch under a snuggle blanket and click through streaming video options of course. The other night I selected Hello, My Name is Doris starring Sally Fields as a quirky old lady who… I won’t say more not to spoil Sally Field’s wonderful characterization that drives the plot. 

What caught my eye is the point in the movie when a friend invites Doris to hear a motivational speaker. The speaker points out the word impossible, reads, I M possible if you simply pull out the first two letters. He then expands it to I am possible as his motivational mantra.

Doris repeats his catch phrase, I am possible, I am possible until it becomes the catalyst that changes the way she thinks about herself and her situation. If I am possible, maybe nothing is impossible This is the fuel for Doris’ transformation, beautifully portrayed by Sally Fields, with the kind of happy, feel-good ending we all need after a year of lockdown and life-threatening, world wide disease.

But here’s the thing, what if I am not possible? What if I am weak, weary, and nothing is really within my control? What if I’m insecure, prone to worry, and my greatest gift is forecasting future doom?

The morning after the movie, I’m again on the couch, wrapped in the same blanket, sipping a cup of tea. But this time I’m streaming the Holy Spirit when the thought enters my mind that God was first known by the Israelites as the Great I Am, a God too big to be contained by any name.

When I open the Bible app on my phone, the verse of the day is Matthew 19:26.

Jesus: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

²⁵ The disciples, hearing this, were stunned.

Disciples: Who then can be saved?

Jesus: ²⁶ People cannot save themselves. But with God, all things are possible. (VOICE)

Later in the week, I’m faced with a crisis too personal to name. One a perky, quirky, I-am- possible Sally Field could never solve.

Oddly, I don’t feel panic or dismay. It’s as if I’m shielded by a peace, that doesn’t make sense. As if I’m floating above circumstances that should derail me. Instead, I’m resting in the knowledge that I can do nothing to change things.  

Odder still, this is the catalyst that transforms me from being bored and antsy to grateful for a God who sees, a God who provides, a God who cares, a God who is never surprised, so knew ahead of time, to remind me that nothing is impossible with the Great I Am.

The Great I Am,

a God too big to be contained by a name, yet knows mine.

That’s my motivational mantra for the week, sisters. Keep the faith!

Cover photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash. Thanks!