I haven’t written here in a while because I’ve been learning how to create Reels on Facebook. Since January, I’ve shared a seven-part series about the memoir writing process. Since reels are short-lived, I thought I’d post similar info here in written form. You can check out the first reel in the series here if you’re interested.
My hope is that you might benefit from the writing lessons I learned the hard way by writing two memoirs, so you can write your own story.
This first in the series is about:
How to BEGIN the monumental task of WRITING YOUR OWN MEMOIR.
We’ll take it like you’d eat an elephant, one bite at a time.
Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
In other words we are often the last ones to recognize the meaning of our own stories. That’s because the things we struggled with are often confusing at the time we lived them and only clear in the rearview mirror. I use the word, mirror, because not until we have opportunity to look deeply at what we experienced can we make sense of it.
The bad news is that until we understand our own story, we have nothing to offer a reader. Simply recounting a laundry list of memories is boring.
The good news is readers are hungry for the wisdom we’ve mined from those struggles because that’s what resonates.
But how do we go from a boring laundry list to a compelling memoir? Do we wait until we’ve figured it all out. No! If we did that, we’d never be able to start.
For me the writing process was part of understanding my own story. I simply started writing episodes as they came to mind. At this early stage, I turned off my internal editor and didn’t worry about being articulate. I didn’t worry about spelling and grammar. I didn’t worry if my stories were humiliating, disturbing, shallow, or ordinary. I just recorded episodes as I remembered them and saved them as is. Not because they would be part of my finished memoir as first documented, but because they were the route that led me to the themes that ran through my life. They surfaced the issues that swam beneath my actions. They painted unconscious, yet repeated metaphors. They stripped me down to my deepest fears, motivations, and patterns of self-defense. These primal scrawls were the raw material I would refine for the golden truth my experience revealed— because our stories are not really about us. They are about the universal realities illustrated by our unique lives.
So, what do I suggest as your first bite of the elephant—your first step as a memoirist? Just put pen to paper or fingertip to keyboard. Pour out your unadulterated stories and save them for later review. Be fearless, trusting that whatever you produce and however much you produce is enough for now.
Next time, we’ll talk about how to pinpoint your memoir’s universal truth, and apply the first rule of editing.
So until my next installment, remember your specific story matters, because you matter.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planed for us long ago.”
Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)
BTW, this and all the future segments I’ll share, are based on memoir writing principles I learned while writing two books:
Teacher Dropout: Finding Grace in an Unjust Schoo
Unmoored: How an Adoptee Found Her True Identity
I’ll be pulling examples from both. They’re available on Amazon if having a copy would be helpful.
Cover photo by Matthew Spiteri on Unsplash
