Introvert or Extrovert?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? What difference does it make if both are fine ways of being in the world? A lot, according to Holley Gerth in her fabulous book, The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the world Needs You to Be You.

The central theme of the book is stated clearly in the subtitle; in order to lead the fullest, most effective life you can, it helps to know yourself, your tendencies, your strengths, your skills, your patterns of thinking, what depletes and restores you. She makes the case that your make-up is intricately linked to the purpose and destiny for which God created you, so know yourself, learn what you need to thrive, and what you passionately want to offer the world.

Holley helps us begin this quest by defining what introversion is and what it is not. Introversion isn’t shyness. She quotes Susan Cain, author of Quiet who says, “Shyness is fear of negative judgment, and introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments.” She explores the physiology of introvert/extrovert brain chemistry and offers a series of simple quizzes based on the most respected personality indicators.

Here are just some of her questions to help you locate yourself on the introvert/extrovert continuum.

• Do you enjoy spending time in solitude?
• Are you drawn to deep conversations and thoughts?
• Do you need time to process before speaking or making decisions?
• Do you prefer working in quiet independent environments?
• Do you need time alone to recharge and reflect?

Are you beginning to see yourself in the introvert crowd? I certainly did!

But Holley concludes her chapter by emphasizing that however you answered, and wherever you found yourself on the scale, she believes, “Your true identity goes beyond your preferences, processes, patterns, and personal relationships. You’re created in the image of God. You’re loved as you are. You have nothing to prove.”

That said, she delves deeper into the tendencies of introverts, making the case that being sensitive and quiet are not weaknesses, but strengths and offers a list of skill sets these characteristics bring to the world. Introverts tend to be analytic, creative, and empathic to name just a few, so they make up a disproportionate portion of the world’s writers, artists, inventors, teachers, counselors, and advocates to name just a few. This section of the book helped me understand, with hindsight, why certain jobs, relationships, and roles chaffed and others fit like a second skin. This insight gave me permission and guidance to better focus my energies in the future.

The mid-section of the book takes up the common problems of anxiety, depression, self-criticism, and perfectionism and follows on with self-care adaptations and practices that help introverts stay in their safe lane, and not do self-damage by pushing themselves to be and do what they are not designed for. This was profoundly useful for helping me understand my own limits. It also shed light on how introverts and extroverts can learn to accept, understand, and support each other based on their inner settings.

The final chapter culminates with how to craft a mission statement based on fresh self-discovery.

All this to say, I highly recommend this book as a gift to yourself or a loved one this holiday season. What better way to celebrate Christmas than to make peace with ourselves, our neighbors, and the God who put love and grace into motion with the birth of Christ. Our broken world so needs us to understand who we are and how to best serve our Lord according to the divine destiny he has for us all.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 11 (NIV)

Click here for Holley’s great book, The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You.

Click here for my own book, Teacher Dropout: Finding Grace in an Unjust School, the story of an introvert (me) in a tough environment, struggling to find my worth, core identity, and a place to belong.

Cover photo by Alexandru Zdrobau on Unsplash