LOVE CHILD

It’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I’m adopted, so until I connected with the woman who bore me, I was unaware that my maternal grandmother had a double mastectomy in her thirties. That trial came on top of being tragically widowed. Yet, my young, breast-less grandmother secured a challenging job, married another man who adored her, and lived a full life into her 90’s.

That’s not to suggest trauma and trials are easy to overcome or without consequence. And being human, we all have our own version. As a young woman, my mom conceived me out of wedlock. In the conservative 50’s, she was sent away to hide the shameful bump that was me. Once born, I was removed from the hospital, like a social cancer, and sent to a foster home until placed with adoptive parents who proved wonderful.

And yet, I confess, as a love child, a euphemism for the old-fashioned bastard, part of me always wondered who I really was and where I belonged. And as I came of age, what I was worth if born by mistake. I couldn’t have told you that at age five, or fifteen, or even twenty-five, but looking back, as a memoirist, those were the questions that propelled my desperation for acceptance which in turn led to my own sexual mistakes and shame. But desperation can also be a catalyst for change, and I found myself on a parallel odyssey to not only find myself, but God. For who can know their true value and significance without knowing their maker?

Photo by Valery Fedotov on Unsplash

I don’t know how my grandmother, or my mom overcame their trials and tragedies, but I know how I’ve overcome mine.

By finding my heavenly father, I’ve come to rest in the fact that as women we are so much more than the sum of our female parts no matter how they’ve been used, abused, or removed. And I’ve developed my own definition of the term love child. Not the dictionary version, of a misbegotten bastard, but rather a beloved daughter, chosen, and adopted through God’s amazing grace.

This is my hope for you too, dear reader, that no matter what’s in your family medical history, no matter your origin story, and no matter your varied trials and tragedies, that you may be aware, not just this month, but always that you too can be God’s love child. And as such, these are his promises:

• God is for you not against you, no matter your sufferings. (Romans 8:28-34)
• No trouble can ever separate you from Him. (Romans 8:35
• You have an almighty protector. (Romans 8:35)
• Trials are not evidence that the world is falling apart, but that a fallen world needs a savior. (John 3:16)

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave^[a] his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.  God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

John 3:16-17 (NLT)

• Cover photo by Jill Sauve on Unsplash

Copyright 2023 Ann C. Averill